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  老师,我和老公结婚10年了,我一直比较担心他和其他女性接触,因为结婚前他在QQ聊天,背着我的,还通信件,现在他又玩微博,明确说有很多女同事在里面,他不想和我互粉,说我会给他压力,但我又很担心,现在搞的自己很抑郁,不知道该不该管。还是我心里过分担心怀疑,心里不健康了吗?

  维情婚姻咨询师伊老师:

  你们结婚10年,你一直担心着他会和与别的女性接触,他之所以背着你通信件,这个到底是原因还是结果呢?他现在开通微博不想和你互粉,一方面是不排除你担心的可能,但也说明了他内心非常需要私人空间,也许正因为他深知你的管控和担心,所以他才会不让你互粉。

  你对他的担心并不是某件事引发的,而是在这漫长的十年里,你都有一种潜在的担心,这样的担心更多的是来自于你内心安全感的缺失,你内心越是不安,就越想控制对方,因为你觉得只有控制住对方,你就获得了安全感,但实际上这种做法是十分危险的,因为没有人会受到了被事无巨细的管控。对方在无法忍受的情况下,就很容易做出出格的事情来,那结果和你想要的是背道而驰的。你不妨借这个事件对自己的行为做个反思,提升自己内在的安全感,并改善与你老公的相处模式。维情网 伊静


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